reflections on a question posed by a friend, shortly after ordination, August 2010.
Well, just normal and natural, no big deal – it’s easier to write about what it is like not being able to ordain, what it is like being held in other forms of ordination when one is ready to unfold, how it is when a natural progression is interrupted, what that energetic blocking is like and all the justifications and complications and repressions and denials and convolutions needed to keep this in place.
But then, when a flower unfolds, opens out under the sun with moisture from the earth just as it should, it’s very beautiful, normal and natural, and a joy and pleasure arise from the beauty of just the ordinary and yet the extra-ordinary too.
When things are working well they are almost not noticed. Just as after a long period of illness one really notices the pleasure of lack of illness – when something has been giving pain for a long time one really notices and appreciates the lack of pain, the ease in this. But the lack of pain is in some ways nothing special also – except the miracle of so many things having to be working well for there to be this ease – and if there is an ease in suffering after a long time of illness, and when there have been many things wrong, then it is very miraculous, very lovely.
Spaces where normal and natural unfolding is possible are very precious – like good friends, jewels radiate through a lifetime, and make a whole life beautiful, something to be treasured deeply. Yet, at the time, one just enjoys that space, that easy companionship – and afterwards looking back see how this companionship made so much possible, but at the time it just is.